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[lonelydream]

Zhou Xu

missives | encounters

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[lonelydream]

[ his eyes shut fully, brows furrowing, and he takes a slow breath in and then releases it even more slowly. what does he feel? ]

--Warm, I think. I'm not sure. Perhaps it's nothing at all.

[ and then Zishu opens his eyes. ]

Master Lan, my sense of touch, of sensation... It comes and goes greatly, especially now. I can barely feel anything at all. My senses aren't to be trusted.

[lanclan]

[ Opening his eyes, he gives a shake of his head, the flow of qi continuing where his hands remain. ]

This isn't about your senses, your muscles or bones. Your meridians are broken scaffolding but they haven't vanished altogether, try and use them to channel something that relies on only thought and being. Having a golden core can greatly revitalise a body that was formerly without one, and even the humblest farmer can cultivate a tiny echo if he endeavours long enough.

Try a little longer, Master Zhou. [ His smile is encouraging, albeit small. ] This is very foreign to you, so be patient. Give it a good chance first.

[lonelydream]

If you were talking to my disciple, I'd encourage it. But my meridians are moments from being altogether shattered, and my qi doesn't move as it should.

[lanclan]

[ Xichen sits back, hands in his lap. ]

I understand, your meridians are nearly gone so how could you cultivate a golden core? But you never lost one. Never had one to begin with. So, in theory, you have been pumping your qi around your body yourself without a proverbial golden heart to do it for you, straining yourself. I wonder if that is why your meridians broke so badly.

In any case, since you never lost a core it stands to reason it is still within you, waiting to be awakened ... meridians or not.

[lonelydream]

[ He doesn't like this feeling of hope. It tends to lead to nasty disappointment. ]

Do you think it's really possible?

[lanclan]

I don't see why not. Men cultivate them when they are grown, you have broken meridians but not a missing core. If you could gain even a small one, it would heal you. That's the only plausible theory I'm left with.

[ He tips his head, thinking. ]

Lady Wen Qing is a professional healer, her insight would prove invaluable. You should speak with her.

[lonelydream]

I'll have to trouble Master Lan to introduce us, then.

[lanclan]

Certainly. Please allow me to introduce Wangji as well, although ... we may not be able to bring Wen Kexing.

[ Awk. ]

I apologise, they had a misunderstanding and Wangji does not forgive easily.

[lonelydream]

Certainly. I'll speak to Lao Wen, but I'm sure he won't mind.

[ At the very least, he won't mind anything that results in Zhou Zishu getting better. ]

[lanclan]

[ With a grateful nod, Xichen's smile softens. ]

I expected you to be somewhat different than you are, but I'm glad that isn't so.

[ Wen Kexing painted quite the picture. ]

[lonelydream]

Now I'm very curious. Just what has Lao Wen been saying about me?

[lanclan]

In his retellings, you always seemed ... very forceful. Like a towering shadow of a man whose beauty made the birds ashamed to sing. A more obnoxious version of a softer, pleasanter reality. [ Chuckling, he gives a small shrug. ] I was worried you might hold less tolerant values.

This is all because he was very excited to speak of you, when he finally did.

[lonelydream]

[ He really...doesn't know what to say to that, taken aback. For one thing, he doesn't think he's ever been called soft or pleasant before. And then, because he's always protected himself by making himself incredibly forgetful, the idea that he'd been described as a great beauty is just very, very odd. ]

[lanclan]

That was something like the face I'm sure I had while he waxed lyrical about you.

[ Mmm, tea. ]

[lonelydream]

[ He presses a few finger into the bridge of his nose, sighing. ]

I feel as though I ought to apologize.

[lanclan]

There's no need. I'm curious as to how he described me to you, in return.

[lonelydream]

He called you a very good friend. Indirectly, he spoke about what you've done together, and between that and what you've told me, Master Lan... I am very good at reading between the lines.

[lanclan]

[ He blinks a little, mildly confused. Still, he admits, ]

He is possibly, between this world and my own, one of the only true friends I have ever had. Besides my brother.

[lonelydream]

[ He wonders, briefly, if he should ask--but then asks anyway: ]

Do you resent me for coming here?

[lanclan]

[ His smile warms, dark eyes crinkling as he shakes his head. ]

No. You make him very happy and I can see why. I hope we can work together to help your condition, then I might one day be able to host the two of you at Cloud Recesses. That is what I want.

[lonelydream]

Master Lan is too kind.

May I make another request?

[lanclan]

Of course, please.

[lonelydream]

If I don't survive...

[lanclan]

There is no need for such a conversation, one way or another.

[ The patient look he weighs on Zhou Zishu speaks volumes (he would try to be there for Wen Kexing to help him through his grief, offer a home, a poor consolation of a friend in place of a zhiji but one there all the same). Xichen would. ]

You are here now, so bend all your efforts towards remaining with us. That is my last request today of you.

[lonelydream]

[ He exhales, soft. ]

You are very like him, in some ways.