lonelydream | INBOX (for eastbound)

Yes.

[ Zhou Zishu has been nothing but polite and respectful of Xichen, he can treat him the same way. That includes keeping a secret he thinks will upset Wen Kexing. ]

My condition is far worse than Lao Wen is aware of.

Circumstances at home--those that haven't yet happened for him--tipped my hand. If I were home, I would have days. Perhaps a week or two.

Not long.

Not the months or years he thinks I do.

[ Terrible. How terrible, he thinks, feeling the awfulness of it in the way he knows Wen Kexing couldn't handle the news. Zhou Zishu does not deserve this. ]

You are so young, how can nothing be done?

It isn't an illness, exactly. It's essentially a form of torture--one that I devised and inflicted upon myself.

And Wen Kexing knows this?

Yes.

Why did ... ? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask that, it's none of my business.

[ He starts again, reorganising his curiosity into something more helpful and less self-indulgent. ]

My brother and I can ease some damage with a transference of spiritual energy, he tends to use up his reserves on his husband who gets into ... trouble. Wangji would not want to be left without reserves in case of an emergency with Wei Wuxian.

But, I can at least see if your meridians work the same way as ours. Without a golden core, your qi would be stagnant without any way of travelling your body and mending it, as I understand these things. I am interested to know whether that is really true for you.

[ Like blood unable to pump without a heart. Xichen tilts his head, pensive and willing to help. ]

I am no professional healer but I have some knowledge of these things owing to my cultivation.

[ Mainly from helping his people after battle during the Sunshot Campaign, aiding those injured. At best, he supposes, he is an accomplished field medic in qi deviation, but there is no one stronger (to his knowledge) on the same path as him, back home. ]

Ask, if you'd like. It's the least I can do to thank you for whatever help you might be able to provide, though you may not like the answer you get. I am not a good person.

[ With a graceful motion, he draws his sleeves back a bit to lay his bare wrist on the table for Lan Xichen. ]

If Master Lan is willing.

After this, you should ask Lady Wen for her expertise: she will have more to add.

[ He lays two fingers on Zhou Zishu's wrist, warm skin-on-skin, and hesitates with a nod to the man's front. ]

Our golden cores are in our midriff, near the stomach. May I lay a hand on you there? [ His lips twitch. ] You may remain dressed, of course.

[ Scandalous behaviour in this tea-room!! ]

Yes, of course.

[ Zhou Zishu is of a drier humour than Wen Kexing, for sure, the differences between the two have Xichen mildly fascinated. Pushing those thoughts aside for now, he lays a palm on him too and closes his eyes as qi stirs and sinks into the other man, faint blue shimmering around his hands where it makes contact. The usual routes for qi are there, though the destruction of those meridians feels like corroded scars where Xichen passes over them. His qi is gentle and refreshing as it glides along the ruined pathways, infusing a very small amount of healing energy into them to avoid causing harm by an overload: Xichen's qi itself is as steady and deep as a mountain, a reliable source of relief if Zhou Zishu wants more.

His lashes flutter on his cheeks, all but meditating. ]

Does this hurt? How do you feel?

[ he inhales sharply, eyes nearly closing at the first sensation of qi sweeping through his meridians. he can feel Lan Xichen's qi sweeping through him, different from the firey warmth of Wen Kexing's, or the icy chill of Ye Baiyi's, or the gentle burn of Wu Xi's. Everyone's qi is different, and Lan Xichen's feels like a mountain spring, cool and calm and deep.

too bad Zishu's meridians are too damaged to properly appreciate it.

Lan Xichen will no doubt be able to feel the way his meridians are shattered and burst--focused along the seven points on his chest. By all accounts, he shouldn't be able to move or speak or do any sort of martial arts whatsoever. ]

It doesn't hurt.

[ Whatever his qi tries to heal feels like a dead branch, broken and browning with no hope of another summer. It's so sad. How can Zhou Zishu bear it? It's like pouring water through a river long turned to dust, nothing is there to get flowing and his own qi cannot heal, only soothe while actively circulating.

He focuses on the place where a golden core should be and tries to stimulate it, as if encouraging a young Lan disciple to cultivate their own. ]

What do you feel when I do this?

[ his eyes shut fully, brows furrowing, and he takes a slow breath in and then releases it even more slowly. what does he feel? ]

--Warm, I think. I'm not sure. Perhaps it's nothing at all.

[ and then Zishu opens his eyes. ]

Master Lan, my sense of touch, of sensation... It comes and goes greatly, especially now. I can barely feel anything at all. My senses aren't to be trusted.

[ Opening his eyes, he gives a shake of his head, the flow of qi continuing where his hands remain. ]

This isn't about your senses, your muscles or bones. Your meridians are broken scaffolding but they haven't vanished altogether, try and use them to channel something that relies on only thought and being. Having a golden core can greatly revitalise a body that was formerly without one, and even the humblest farmer can cultivate a tiny echo if he endeavours long enough.

Try a little longer, Master Zhou. [ His smile is encouraging, albeit small. ] This is very foreign to you, so be patient. Give it a good chance first.

If you were talking to my disciple, I'd encourage it. But my meridians are moments from being altogether shattered, and my qi doesn't move as it should.

[ Xichen sits back, hands in his lap. ]

I understand, your meridians are nearly gone so how could you cultivate a golden core? But you never lost one. Never had one to begin with. So, in theory, you have been pumping your qi around your body yourself without a proverbial golden heart to do it for you, straining yourself. I wonder if that is why your meridians broke so badly.

In any case, since you never lost a core it stands to reason it is still within you, waiting to be awakened ... meridians or not.

Edited 2023-11-18 09:20 (UTC)

[ He doesn't like this feeling of hope. It tends to lead to nasty disappointment. ]

Do you think it's really possible?

I don't see why not. Men cultivate them when they are grown, you have broken meridians but not a missing core. If you could gain even a small one, it would heal you. That's the only plausible theory I'm left with.

[ He tips his head, thinking. ]

Lady Wen Qing is a professional healer, her insight would prove invaluable. You should speak with her.

I'll have to trouble Master Lan to introduce us, then.

Certainly. Please allow me to introduce Wangji as well, although ... we may not be able to bring Wen Kexing.

[ Awk. ]

I apologise, they had a misunderstanding and Wangji does not forgive easily.

Certainly. I'll speak to Lao Wen, but I'm sure he won't mind.

[ At the very least, he won't mind anything that results in Zhou Zishu getting better. ]

[ With a grateful nod, Xichen's smile softens. ]

I expected you to be somewhat different than you are, but I'm glad that isn't so.

[ Wen Kexing painted quite the picture. ]

Now I'm very curious. Just what has Lao Wen been saying about me?

In his retellings, you always seemed ... very forceful. Like a towering shadow of a man whose beauty made the birds ashamed to sing. A more obnoxious version of a softer, pleasanter reality. [ Chuckling, he gives a small shrug. ] I was worried you might hold less tolerant values.

This is all because he was very excited to speak of you, when he finally did.

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