wifedup: (xlix.)
wen kexing ( word of honor ) ([personal profile] wifedup) wrote in [personal profile] lonelydream 2023-11-09 10:10 am (UTC)

( He looks up, startled, and then pulls a face. )

Aren't I? How many people are dead because of me, Ah-Xu? ( He set the ghosts out for a reason, to sow the seeds of chaos, to upheave the Jianghu. There would have been other ways to uproot his enemy, he's sure of it, but he had chosen the bloodiest, the cruellest. He had wanted the mayhem with a viciousness that clings even now, that desperate need to watch everything fall apart. Even after months and trying to rebuild himself he still craves it. He isn't a good man, not by a long shot. )

I can sit here and be appalled that someone else's monster has killed women and yet - I opened the door to men like Lovelace. I knew what I was doing, I knew what might happen. Your silly little disciple is an orphan, and that's my fault too. ( He knocks back the wine, the guilt acidic in his belly, but he keeps his voice impassive. ) I should have killed all the Devils when I had a chance, but I didn't. Because I needed them. So it makes me wonder what Messalina needs with her hers. That's all.

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