周子舒｜周絮 （Zhou Zishu | Zhou Xu） (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lonelydream) wrote2023-10-29 10:27 pm
lonelydream) wrote2023-10-29 10:27 pm
INBOX (for eastbound)
Zhou Xu
missives | encounters
Zhou Xu
missives | encounters
[ Zishu certainly doesn't see it. Lan Xichen is kind and supportive, warm, gentle, which Zhou Zishu has never been, and a powerful enough martial artist that doesn't balk at handing his weapon to someone else. ]
I think Master Lan holds me in far too high regard.
He's very kind, and reminds me of you, in some ways.
( It's hard to disguise the way his expression goes softly vulnerable at the touch, eyes widening a fraction, lips parting on a breath. Zhou Zishu has been kind to him before - he has recalled the embrace in Puppet Manor far too often, furious at himself and still somehow heartsick - but each new instance has his stomach squirming, his heart racing. What a strange thing, to be cared for, to have someone daring enough to scale the walls he places around himself. )
Ah-Xu.
( Soft, soft, his gaze flitting across the other man's face with frantic energy. )
Were you always this sweet?
Ah-Xu.
( Soft, soft, his gaze flitting across the other man's face with frantic energy. )
Were you always this sweet?
That's because I've fooled him into thinking I'm nice.
( Well, not entirely. Lan Xichen knows who he is, he's been shown. And yet he still believes in him. It's as alarming with him as it is with Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing is not sure what he's to do with all that faith. )
Did he say how you could go about cultivating a golden core? Did he say how long it might take?
( Well, not entirely. Lan Xichen knows who he is, he's been shown. And yet he still believes in him. It's as alarming with him as it is with Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing is not sure what he's to do with all that faith. )
Did he say how you could go about cultivating a golden core? Did he say how long it might take?
[ His hand pauses, and then he goes back to petting Wen Kexing's hair, guilt twisting through his gut. he thinks, now, often, that they could have avoided so much pain if they just spoke to each other more. ]
Lao Wen, I...
[ He stops, then, and then tries for a small smile. ]
You need higher standards.
Your girl and her silly little rabbit need you.
No, impossible.
( He likes that, he thinks, swaying a little closer without meaning to. )
Don't you know I'm very fussy? Only the best. ( Because to him Zhou Zishu is. He's brave, and he's bright, and he can fight like a demon. His brilliance is blinding and impossible to resist. Wen Kexing loves him with an ache, a fact that sits heavy behind his ribs even now, loose limbed and a little wine drunk, still smiling. )
I've changed my mind. I don't want to reincarnate as a bird, I want to be a cat. I could lay in your lap and you could pet me with those clever hands. ( Which sounds like an innuendo but is surprisingly not! ) What a nice little life that would be.
( He likes that, he thinks, swaying a little closer without meaning to. )
Don't you know I'm very fussy? Only the best. ( Because to him Zhou Zishu is. He's brave, and he's bright, and he can fight like a demon. His brilliance is blinding and impossible to resist. Wen Kexing loves him with an ache, a fact that sits heavy behind his ribs even now, loose limbed and a little wine drunk, still smiling. )
I've changed my mind. I don't want to reincarnate as a bird, I want to be a cat. I could lay in your lap and you could pet me with those clever hands. ( Which sounds like an innuendo but is surprisingly not! ) What a nice little life that would be.
Ugh.
( It's overdramatic, but Wen Kexing is sure Zhou Zishu can tell just how much Gu Xiang's absense has been wearing on him. He misses her, though he is not surprised by that. He'd meant to find her a new life, the longing would have come either way. He just wishes he could be near to make sure she's safe. )
Is she happy? ( Sudden, though he looks down at his desk rather than Zhou Zishu. ) She must be, right? But she was never the type of girl to play pretend at weddings - she is doing it because she wants to, isn't she?
( It's overdramatic, but Wen Kexing is sure Zhou Zishu can tell just how much Gu Xiang's absense has been wearing on him. He misses her, though he is not surprised by that. He'd meant to find her a new life, the longing would have come either way. He just wishes he could be near to make sure she's safe. )
Is she happy? ( Sudden, though he looks down at his desk rather than Zhou Zishu. ) She must be, right? But she was never the type of girl to play pretend at weddings - she is doing it because she wants to, isn't she?
[ He shakes his head, and then explains before he can risk offending the other man: ]
Since we are being rather frank with my situation... It isn't worth wasting good food and tea on me. I can't taste it.
Deliriously so.
You, on the other hand, are terrorizing everyone with the need to make sure things are absolutely perfect.
[ He reaches out, covering Wen Kexing's hand with his own. ]
Why does she still call you zhuren when she should call you ge?
You'd make a decent mouser, I suppose. If you're a cat, though, I think I'd rather be one as well.
[ This conversation is growing rather absurd. The room is dim and warm, and Wen Kexing is a comfortingly heavy weight against him. It loosens his tongue, makes him brave. ]
That's fine, we can huddle for warmth, groom each other, I'll bring you vermin while you sleep.
( It is absurd, but it's also pleasant and meandering, something silly. He never played games of pretend like this as a child and he leans into it fully grown without a care. He hums as he drinks more wine, shifting, and then whiny -. )
Let me put my head in your lap, Ah-Xu, I'm tired.
( Not tired enough to sleep, but enough to be a brat, surely. )
( It is absurd, but it's also pleasant and meandering, something silly. He never played games of pretend like this as a child and he leans into it fully grown without a care. He hums as he drinks more wine, shifting, and then whiny -. )
Let me put my head in your lap, Ah-Xu, I'm tired.
( Not tired enough to sleep, but enough to be a brat, surely. )
Well, they should be! It's what she deserves.
( It's no secret that Wen Kexing has a romantic heart, he talks about it often enough. But there are parts that are more earnest, more desperate, sore like a bruise. He wanted better for Gu Xiang, wants more for her. She is the only good thing he has ever managed to do, his silly girl. )
Ah? Safer? For her, I mean. ( He shrugs a shoulder, fidgety. ) In the beginning I didn't let her call me anything at all, it was better that people didn't know I cared, but she was so small and so innocent that it couldn't last long. So then I had to pretend she was a ... protégé? I don't know. The old Valley Master thought it was funny, so he let me look after her. She was a handy enough leash in case I acted out. When I killed him - ( A pause, momentary. ) I thought it best she kept that up. She could take better care of herself by then, I raised her to be deadly enough. But she's still a weak spot, and someone is always looking for one of those.
( And then, a hum. )
We're different, out in the Jianghu. We get to pretend to be something else. I'd hoped when I found her somewhere safer she could think back on me kindly like that, call me whatever she wanted, like a nice memory.
( He hadn't expected to survive, but then - Zhou Zishu. )
( It's no secret that Wen Kexing has a romantic heart, he talks about it often enough. But there are parts that are more earnest, more desperate, sore like a bruise. He wanted better for Gu Xiang, wants more for her. She is the only good thing he has ever managed to do, his silly girl. )
Ah? Safer? For her, I mean. ( He shrugs a shoulder, fidgety. ) In the beginning I didn't let her call me anything at all, it was better that people didn't know I cared, but she was so small and so innocent that it couldn't last long. So then I had to pretend she was a ... protégé? I don't know. The old Valley Master thought it was funny, so he let me look after her. She was a handy enough leash in case I acted out. When I killed him - ( A pause, momentary. ) I thought it best she kept that up. She could take better care of herself by then, I raised her to be deadly enough. But she's still a weak spot, and someone is always looking for one of those.
( And then, a hum. )
We're different, out in the Jianghu. We get to pretend to be something else. I'd hoped when I found her somewhere safer she could think back on me kindly like that, call me whatever she wanted, like a nice memory.
( He hadn't expected to survive, but then - Zhou Zishu. )
[ He hums in thought, teasing, but then applies a slight pressure to the side of Wen Kexing's head, encouraging him to lay his head down. ]
What if I don't like vermin?
[ Perhaps, if he'd had that sort of foresight, his eighty brothers that followed him down the mountain would still be alive. But, no. Helian Yi knew perfectly well who the men from Siji were, and Zishu had (foolishly, foolishly) thought, hoped that the association would protect them. Instead, it killed them. ]
Well. There's time, still.
( He drapes himself easily across the bed, head resting against Zhou Zishu's thigh. It's nice, he can't help but nuzzle his cheek into him, heart pounding away behind his ribs. It feels wildly daring the same way it feels right, Wen Kexing drumming his fingers against Zhou Zishu's shin lightly. )
Fine, I'll be a street cat and steal a whole chicken from the butchers for you. Is that better?
Fine, I'll be a street cat and steal a whole chicken from the butchers for you. Is that better?
Much. I deserve to be kept in luxury.
[ He's teasing, obviously. Of the two of them Wen Kexing is the one who cares more about the luxuries of life--unsurprising, when he spent so long without. Zhou Zishu has had the privilege of, for most of his life, having things at his fingertips if and when he needed it. ]
Page 9 of 19